As the school term has come to a close, I have found it harder and harder to get off my backside and get running. The degree of difficulty I have found in extracting myself from the embrace of the sofa is such that I am convinced that it has become twice as hard as previously to stand up. This can only lead me to one conclusion: there is a small black hole located within the sofa and its gravitational field is holding me down. I assure you that it has absolutely nothing to do with tiredness, nor with laziness.
So just how massive is the black hole? Armed with a pencil and piece of paper, I have estimated the mass. Since I share a birthday with Isaac Newton, and because I can't do quantum mechanics, I've used classical mechanics. I won't bore you with the maths or assumptions, but I reckon that down the back of our sofa is an object with a mass of 120 trillion tonnes.
I went looking for it. I can reveal that in fact there is not a black hole. The vast majority of the mass I had calculated could simply be accounted for in stray stitch markers and other knitting accoutrements.
So if you're finding it hard to extricate yourself from your couch, don't blame the weather, just clear out behind the cushions.