Veuf Tricot

Escaping The Sofa

As the school term has come to a close, I have found it harder and harder to get off my backside and get running. The degree of difficulty I have found in extracting myself from the embrace of the sofa is such that I am convinced that it has become twice as hard as previously to stand up. This can only lead me to one conclusion: there is a small black hole located within the sofa and its gravitational field is holding me down. I assure you that it has absolutely nothing to do with tiredness, nor with laziness.

So just how massive is the black hole? Armed with a pencil and piece of paper, I have estimated the mass.  Since I share a birthday with Isaac Newton, and because I can't do quantum mechanics, I've used classical mechanics.  I won't bore you with the maths or assumptions, but I reckon that down the back of our sofa is an object with a mass of 120 trillion tonnes. 

I went looking for it. I can reveal that in fact there is not a black hole. The vast majority of the mass I had calculated could simply be accounted for in stray stitch markers and other knitting accoutrements.

So if you're finding it hard to extricate yourself from your couch, don't blame the weather, just clear out behind the cushions.

Doing It Properly

I've run quite a few half-marathons and road races over the last 15 years or so. The initial enthusiasm I have for training properly, following the excitement of getting the confirmation email, fades under the influences of work, weather and the gravitational field of the sofa. Consequently, my usual training period is about three weeks for any event. I cannot do this any longer.

Short, intense bursts of training can have an effect on speed, but only a limited effect on endurance, which can bring problems on race day. My performance in the Frome half-marathon earlier in the year is probably a case in point. I shot off at the start with the aim of overtaking the man dressed as Peppa Pig.  I realised that I might be in difficulty as I went through 4km in under 17 minutes (target time was 18 minutes) and Peppa Pig was getting ever further away.  Needless to say I paid for it in the deeply unpleasant last 25 minutes, hanging on grimly in the knowledge that there wasn't far to the finish.

Knowing that I have to run so much further has meant  a change in attitude.  I have cut my pace right back.  The theory says that by running slower, but longer, I should develop my aerobic base. There are thousands of websites and books on this very subject, but I'll be strapping on the world's cheapest heart rate monitor to ensure that I stay within Zone 1 or 2. I still need to do some faster sessions too, but as there's plenty of time for that later on, I'll be the tortoise for a while to come.

 

My current training essentials

 

The scientific approach is all very well, but I've still got to do the work, so it's on with the kit and off out into the rain.